Good Morning loves!
My little Bella is romping through the kitchen, aided and abetted by our skinny little Amada cat. Apparently, finishing breakfast means you must run around the kitchen making loud banging noises as you hit cupboards and walls and whatever else lies in your path. Aidyn and Ely are doing the opposite, lounging on the couch watching an episode of their beloved Dora. Right now they are learning the importance of tools and helping friends. Aidyn just told me he needs a wrench for a present.
My coffee is hot, my feet are tucked under me, and I'm looking through two windows into the world; the one on the left shows a slightly frosty scene where cars drive by every few minutes as people head out to work, the one in front of me a small pane growing slowly with my own words. To my right lies my newest venture into literature, "Passionate Housewives Desperate for God", which is a biblical celebration of the housewife's role. So far, nothing too radical, nothing I wasn't taught growing up anyway. In my parents' house, God was first, them second, the kids third. My father worked at a job, then came home and worked out in the shed and watched the evening news and wrestled with us; my mother got up early to get some chores done, went to her job at the school where she was always close to us, came home with us, cleaned house and made dinner, helped us with homework, and completed a myriad of other chores. We were given numerous chores that rotated weekly to help out. I learned there was a definite order, everyone has a role, and the household runs smoothly. Further example for me was my grandmother, who to this day still selflessly serves all who enter her door and anyone else she can get to. When I was younger she regaled me with tales of life on the farm, how my grandpa worked in the fields all day while she made meals for the workers, gardened, cleaned house, and raised children. Every day she was up before sunrise and went to bed late, serving her household and family. When we visit Montana and stay with her, we cannot talk her out of making us meals, cleaning up after us, and generally making herself available in every way possible. To her it's not a burden, it's her calling, and she does it with gusto.
I know that many stay at home moms hate being called housewives or homemakers, as though those titles somehow demean them. I've heard women say, "I'm a domestic engineer" or "I'm a stay at home mom". Most even say it apologetically, as if they should feel sorry for not pursuing a loftier position. No matter how you dress it up or put it down, it all comes back to the same. You are the keeper of your home, the wife at home, and yes, a servant to your husband, children, and home. Tell me why one should feel bad for caring for the needs of one's family?
I understand that to some, the thought of dishes and laundry and dirty diapers and meals every day may seem dull and a waste of time. Why do laundry when you can have it sent out, why cook when you can take out, why do dishes when you can buy disposable, and why stay home when day cares abound? My simple answer, of my own heart: because I love my family and want the best for them. I don't want others to bring up my children, I don't want packaged convenience for them, and I don't want to waste a moment I will regret later. I know that other women at different places in their lives don't understand this, and I know that for some, what I just described sounds like a dream (no laundry or dishes?). I know many more may look at me and wonder what kind of satisfaction I can possibly derive from endless housework and thankless children. My answer lies in my first paragraph, which has changed slightly to this.
Ely is now sitting in my lap nursing contentedly. Aidyn is beside me, hand on my leg, answering Dora's questions. Bella and Amada have settled down together in Bella's crate, playfully batting at each other every few minutes but for the most part, content to cuddle. My coffee is almost gone, and in a moment I will need to get up, make some breakfast, and start my day of chores. I could be dressing up and rushing out the door to answer someone else's demands and spend a day at job that would probably be just as thankless, but instead I'm nestled in the comfort of my home, my home, with the loves of my life. In between laundry and closet organizing and letting Bella outside for her little constitutionals, I will chase my kids from room to room, play hide and seek, and collapse in fits of giggles with them on the couch. I will get little licks on my hand from Bella when I reach down to absent-mindedly stroke her head, snuggles from the Bean when I put her down for a nap, and share wicked little moments of humor with Aid. Quite simply, I have no desire to be anywhere but here, serving my family.
I haven't always been at this point, I remember the "desperate housewife" feeling, the oh-my-lord-what-have-I-done-with-my-life thoughts. It makes me sad to think that if I had followed that line of thinking I would be missing all of this. I don't need a higher title, or a large salary, or promotions, because I already have the greatest position anyone can have. A position that has infinite value, at least in the lives of my family. A position that has the best perks, if one includes kisses from raspberry jam coated faces and the sight of a three year old dancing around in his underwear. A position that will never get boring, because there are new games to play and songs to sing everyday. Most of all, a position of which I can be proud: raising my children into strong, intelligent people, supporting and taking care of the husband who works hard to take care of us, and making a beautiful home, filled with love and good food and happy memories, literally "laying down my life" for those that I love.
"This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:12-13
3.31.2008
3.26.2008
You're a Centaurian Bloggy!
And so my beloved corner hits its 100th post. My place to vent and ponder, to channel the endless energy of my highs and collect the sad words of my downs. I've been waiting, wanting to blog about something spectacular for such an occasion before realizing that the common everyday occurrences are what makes this blog, well, uniquely mine, and therefore, are good enough for any post, even this one.
This week has been filled to the brim with activity. The garage is coming along, or should I say the preparation for the garage is coming along. We had to cut down a tree and remove endless piles of brush and debris from the plot of land the garage will sit on. And of course, the inevitable bump in our well made plans came today, when we were informed of a major setback on our property. The phone company has a small box on the corner of our land, and apparently they have rights all the way around it, meaning we have to set the building 10 feet away from it. We were planning on maybe two, so that eats up a major portion of our backyard that I wasn't prepared to give up. I'd like to thank the lady who owned this house in 1996 and thought that 500 dollars was worth giving up arbitrary rights to an entire corner of your property. I will post pictures of the progress in a lovely before and after post soon though!
The kids and I started lap booking this week, a concept introduced to us by MacKenzie of Mama Kenz Studio. Aidyn is in love with it, he helps me glue in a little of this and a little of that, and then comes back to it through the day to browse through it. It's simple, fun, and nice to feel like I've got a start in the homeschooling area.
Bible study on Tuesday was very good. We had a great lesson about learning to be content even when circumstances aren't the greatest, and trusting God through all of our ups and downs. We discussed what we'd like to do next as we only have one lesson left, and I think we've settled on a great book I've just started, "Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God". It will work somewhat like a book club, where we'll read a chapter a week and then discuss together.
Speaking of reading, I picked up a random read from the library, "The Chemistry of Joy". It's an approach to understanding depression using Western science combined with Eastern wisdom, namely the practice of Ayurvedic medicine and Buddhism. Who would have expected that? So far it's fascinating, and truthfully, makes a lot of good sense. I think there's something to taking the best out of all the methods and finding some common ground.
The kids are emitting their nightly "I'm cranky and need to find a pillow" sounds, and so I'll bid you goodnight dear bloggy and even dearer readers. Happy 100th post!
This week has been filled to the brim with activity. The garage is coming along, or should I say the preparation for the garage is coming along. We had to cut down a tree and remove endless piles of brush and debris from the plot of land the garage will sit on. And of course, the inevitable bump in our well made plans came today, when we were informed of a major setback on our property. The phone company has a small box on the corner of our land, and apparently they have rights all the way around it, meaning we have to set the building 10 feet away from it. We were planning on maybe two, so that eats up a major portion of our backyard that I wasn't prepared to give up. I'd like to thank the lady who owned this house in 1996 and thought that 500 dollars was worth giving up arbitrary rights to an entire corner of your property. I will post pictures of the progress in a lovely before and after post soon though!
The kids and I started lap booking this week, a concept introduced to us by MacKenzie of Mama Kenz Studio. Aidyn is in love with it, he helps me glue in a little of this and a little of that, and then comes back to it through the day to browse through it. It's simple, fun, and nice to feel like I've got a start in the homeschooling area.
Bible study on Tuesday was very good. We had a great lesson about learning to be content even when circumstances aren't the greatest, and trusting God through all of our ups and downs. We discussed what we'd like to do next as we only have one lesson left, and I think we've settled on a great book I've just started, "Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God". It will work somewhat like a book club, where we'll read a chapter a week and then discuss together.
Speaking of reading, I picked up a random read from the library, "The Chemistry of Joy". It's an approach to understanding depression using Western science combined with Eastern wisdom, namely the practice of Ayurvedic medicine and Buddhism. Who would have expected that? So far it's fascinating, and truthfully, makes a lot of good sense. I think there's something to taking the best out of all the methods and finding some common ground.
The kids are emitting their nightly "I'm cranky and need to find a pillow" sounds, and so I'll bid you goodnight dear bloggy and even dearer readers. Happy 100th post!
3.21.2008
A Peek in the Closet
I was asked recently how I manage to keep my kids cloth diapered. The simplest explanation...meet my diaper stash!
From the top to bottom, in a sort of clockwise motion:
Premium prefolds I recently tie dyed in some vibrant colors. Premium prefolds are the biggest size you can get before you hit the toddler size, and mine are a 4x8x4, which means there are four layers on the sides and eight in the middle...very absorbent! On the orange bunch are two of my Snappis, which are little doodads that have "teeth" in them to grab at the material and hold it together. No pins for us!
Next are some prefolds awaiting their turn in the dye bath. The first bunch are premiums, the second are toddler size. I have some special plans for these babies, courtesy of the Dharma Trading Co.
Right under those you'll find some Proraps covers, not the most attractive ones on the market, but around home, these suckers are bullet proof, nothing gets through! Next to those are a few of my homemade fitteds, which work like a prefold, but are made in a fitted form for a trimmer fit. They work really well with the Proraps.
Next to those are the inserts and doublers for the green, pink, and blue BumGenius pocket diapers in the bottom middle. Pockets have one layer of wicking material that holds moisture away from baby's bottom coupled with one layer of waterproof material, and then a pocket between the two to stuff an insert for absorbency. We generally use these out and about since they are nice and trim fitting under clothes, and less bulk to carry around in a diaper bag. The doublers I use a night with a prefold, fitted, or in the BGs to add a little extra absorbency.
Last but not least is my tiny wool stash. Wool is an awesome diaper medium that works well as covers because it can absorb 30 times it's weight in moisture! It also breathes, is antimicrobial, doesn't hold smell, and needs only be washed every couple of weeks. The very back light brown pair of longies are Aidyn's, which I made from an old wool sweater. The pink and green longies are from LlamaJama, they are Ely's favorite pair. The pink and purple cover is a wool interlock from Thumbelina, and the cream is also interlock from the Vermont Diaper Co. Wool interlock is nice and trim, but still so good at keeping everything in.
Of course, there are a few things missing from this picture of perfection. The pink prefolds I just dyed were used yesterday by the Bean, and there are a few other prefolds, BGs, fitteds, and cover or two awaiting the wash already. There's also another pair of recycled longies from that same sweater drying in the rack.
Call me crazy, but that picture makes me smile to myself, the proof of a success from one of my harebrained schemes.
From the top to bottom, in a sort of clockwise motion:Premium prefolds I recently tie dyed in some vibrant colors. Premium prefolds are the biggest size you can get before you hit the toddler size, and mine are a 4x8x4, which means there are four layers on the sides and eight in the middle...very absorbent! On the orange bunch are two of my Snappis, which are little doodads that have "teeth" in them to grab at the material and hold it together. No pins for us!
Next are some prefolds awaiting their turn in the dye bath. The first bunch are premiums, the second are toddler size. I have some special plans for these babies, courtesy of the Dharma Trading Co.
Right under those you'll find some Proraps covers, not the most attractive ones on the market, but around home, these suckers are bullet proof, nothing gets through! Next to those are a few of my homemade fitteds, which work like a prefold, but are made in a fitted form for a trimmer fit. They work really well with the Proraps.
Next to those are the inserts and doublers for the green, pink, and blue BumGenius pocket diapers in the bottom middle. Pockets have one layer of wicking material that holds moisture away from baby's bottom coupled with one layer of waterproof material, and then a pocket between the two to stuff an insert for absorbency. We generally use these out and about since they are nice and trim fitting under clothes, and less bulk to carry around in a diaper bag. The doublers I use a night with a prefold, fitted, or in the BGs to add a little extra absorbency.
Last but not least is my tiny wool stash. Wool is an awesome diaper medium that works well as covers because it can absorb 30 times it's weight in moisture! It also breathes, is antimicrobial, doesn't hold smell, and needs only be washed every couple of weeks. The very back light brown pair of longies are Aidyn's, which I made from an old wool sweater. The pink and green longies are from LlamaJama, they are Ely's favorite pair. The pink and purple cover is a wool interlock from Thumbelina, and the cream is also interlock from the Vermont Diaper Co. Wool interlock is nice and trim, but still so good at keeping everything in.
Of course, there are a few things missing from this picture of perfection. The pink prefolds I just dyed were used yesterday by the Bean, and there are a few other prefolds, BGs, fitteds, and cover or two awaiting the wash already. There's also another pair of recycled longies from that same sweater drying in the rack.
Call me crazy, but that picture makes me smile to myself, the proof of a success from one of my harebrained schemes.
3.18.2008
A Little of This, A Pinch of That
To catch you up on my week:
!. (I meant to make that a one, but I hit shift and ended up with an exclamation, which I started to change and then decided I liked the idea of numbering with symbols) I started taking some medication which made me break out in a rash and feel slightly drunk. Not go home with a stranger drunk, but bad white girl dancing drunk...never good. Needless to say, haven't chanced a repeat.
@. We started the measuring and calling for and planning of our garage. Spokane County codes...stink.
#. Aidyn has been a rock star at using the potty, minus the pooping. He has decided his diaper is much better for that, and in the case mommy has a temporary lapse in judgement and lets him roam free without one, the floor works too. On a related note, Ely decided that poop is an excellent medium for finger painting on walls and trying as hair and body products...but that's a different story.
$. I finished my first ever knitted object, a soaker for my sister in law's baby to be. It's cute and sweet and pretty darn okay if I do say so myself. Of course you get a picture....
^. I dyed a bunch of prefolds that finally came in the mail, and they are SPECTACULAR! Of course, another picture....
&. I got nothin', I just like the symbols :)
!. (I meant to make that a one, but I hit shift and ended up with an exclamation, which I started to change and then decided I liked the idea of numbering with symbols) I started taking some medication which made me break out in a rash and feel slightly drunk. Not go home with a stranger drunk, but bad white girl dancing drunk...never good. Needless to say, haven't chanced a repeat.
@. We started the measuring and calling for and planning of our garage. Spokane County codes...stink.
#. Aidyn has been a rock star at using the potty, minus the pooping. He has decided his diaper is much better for that, and in the case mommy has a temporary lapse in judgement and lets him roam free without one, the floor works too. On a related note, Ely decided that poop is an excellent medium for finger painting on walls and trying as hair and body products...but that's a different story.
$. I finished my first ever knitted object, a soaker for my sister in law's baby to be. It's cute and sweet and pretty darn okay if I do say so myself. Of course you get a picture....
%. I have an appointment today to see a lady about a natural and holistic approach to bipolar disorder. Lots of amino acids and good diet routines. Bring it on!
^. I dyed a bunch of prefolds that finally came in the mail, and they are SPECTACULAR! Of course, another picture....
&. I got nothin', I just like the symbols :)
3.14.2008
Confetti on my Floor...
Well, this marks the last day of the Ultimate Blog Party. I'm sad to see it go, I met so many new and fun people through this event. Thank you 5 Minutes for Mom for hosting such a great event, and thank you to everyone who visited my corner of the world and left me some love.
The Ultimate Blog Party 2008
*Note: This blog is post-dated to remain sticky at the top of my blog until the party is over. To get to my current postings, scroll down a bit!
I wandered over to one of my favorite blogs today and found an interesting post that I couldn't help but investigate. What I found was a barrel of fun for my little bloggy, and a way to get to know tons of other bloggers out there!
It's the Ultimate Blog Party 2008! The gist is that there's a huge online party from March 7-March 14, and in this time you get to join in, register for prizes, and explore a thousand or so other blogs! It's a fun way to get to know others that share your interest for blogging. It's hosted by a great blog, 5 Minutes for Mom, that frequently has great tidbits, ideas, and of course, events like this.
So head on over, browse around, spread the word, and join in the fun! See you there!
I wandered over to one of my favorite blogs today and found an interesting post that I couldn't help but investigate. What I found was a barrel of fun for my little bloggy, and a way to get to know tons of other bloggers out there!
It's the Ultimate Blog Party 2008! The gist is that there's a huge online party from March 7-March 14, and in this time you get to join in, register for prizes, and explore a thousand or so other blogs! It's a fun way to get to know others that share your interest for blogging. It's hosted by a great blog, 5 Minutes for Mom, that frequently has great tidbits, ideas, and of course, events like this.
So head on over, browse around, spread the word, and join in the fun! See you there!
3.12.2008
A Black Sharpie
Yesterday I paid for my coffee and was handed back a dollar bill and three quarters. As I went to tuck the bill away in my wallet, I realized there was a big, bold line of permanent marker on the back, blacking out the words, "In God We Trust". It caught me so off guard I actually startled when I was given my coffee. All day I thought about the simple gesture that carried a heavy burden of significance. To me it was more than the feeling of one person, but the general consensus of a nation.
In God We Trust became our national motto in 1956 by an act of Congress. From that time forward, by law, all coin and paper money has carried this phrase. At one time, that was the hope of the nation, "..one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." The phrase first came into effect around the time of the American Civil War, when an increase of religious sentiment swept our country and letters began pouring in urging a recognition of God on American coins. The people were weary of war, ready for peace, and looking for a source of hope. How familiar that sounds.
Hundreds of years after our founding fathers placed the faith of a new nation in God's hands, we find ourselves facing a society they never envisioned. The nightly news is full of disasters and crime. Drugs, school shootings, gangs, and war have become commonplace, yet instead of looking for a good to cling to, we'd prefer to abandon faith and place our hope in other vessels.
What others though? Surely not the politicians who lead this country, promising but never delivering. Surely not the almighty dollar, even now showing it's ugly nature as we head into a recession of our own doing. Science? A god that creates medicines and technology to make lives easier, but somehow always seems to complicate the situation further, advancing the need for more and more of it's kind?
Have we as a society become so morally and socially bankrupt that we would cling to these false gods and their temporary relief over a lasting promise that simply requires, dare I say it, a little faith? Perhaps this was a simple protest about separation of church and state. It could have been a joke, even, but there's an important message all the same. We need to take a good long look at this muck we've created out of our world, so puffed up and filled with our own importance that we destroy the simple pleasures and take pleasure in that which destroys us. And once the harsh reality has been realized, perhaps then we will remember that we should put our trust in He who delivers if we'll only have a little...faith.
Hundreds of years after our founding fathers placed the faith of a new nation in God's hands, we find ourselves facing a society they never envisioned. The nightly news is full of disasters and crime. Drugs, school shootings, gangs, and war have become commonplace, yet instead of looking for a good to cling to, we'd prefer to abandon faith and place our hope in other vessels.
What others though? Surely not the politicians who lead this country, promising but never delivering. Surely not the almighty dollar, even now showing it's ugly nature as we head into a recession of our own doing. Science? A god that creates medicines and technology to make lives easier, but somehow always seems to complicate the situation further, advancing the need for more and more of it's kind?
Have we as a society become so morally and socially bankrupt that we would cling to these false gods and their temporary relief over a lasting promise that simply requires, dare I say it, a little faith? Perhaps this was a simple protest about separation of church and state. It could have been a joke, even, but there's an important message all the same. We need to take a good long look at this muck we've created out of our world, so puffed up and filled with our own importance that we destroy the simple pleasures and take pleasure in that which destroys us. And once the harsh reality has been realized, perhaps then we will remember that we should put our trust in He who delivers if we'll only have a little...faith.
In God I Trust.
3.10.2008
Sing it Sister...
A month ago, two feet of drifting snow and icy roads clouded the view of my front window. Spokane was pounded with snow storm after snow storm until residents were stranded on snow packed residential streets, snow plows flipped over or got stuck, and schools were forced to close for a week. Today, the scenery is much milder. The yellow grass of fall, slightly squished looking so recently relieved of it's heavy snow burden, has gone from peeking out to taking over as the warm weather of the last two weeks has finally done it's job of shooing out the winter.
However, one small strip of snow still clings stubbornly to the ground outside of my window. This sliver of ground doesn't get a long amount of direct sunshine, which is contributing to the snow's continuing reign. Each day I think, today will be the day, but each night, while it appears slightly worn down, it remains there. I know it's only a matter of time until a series of warm days completely obliterates it, leaving an unobliterated view of the new grass slowly growing in.
In the midst of the emotional havoc my body is wreaking on me right now, I've found myself feeling slightly better each day that brings more sunshine and the promise of a bright spring. In a way I've telling myself that with the spring will come a new start and a lightening of the burden I've become all too used to carrying this winter. The funny part of this metaphor is that in a way, it's actually true. Bipolar people go through what they call "normal seasonal cycles", meaning your body has "seasons". I've been living this winter one day, one hour, one minute at a time at a time (I just saw an intersting post on this very subject) and have been clinging to the slightest promise of spring.
Each day as the sun relentlessly chips away at that small patch of snow, I feel a little better, a little more in control. Time marches on, and I know it's only a matter of time until this season is over and I can look forward to another. Soon, I will look out and that snow will only be memory, not one I can appreciate having it so recently gone, but perhaps someday soon, during one of the hot summer days in a season to come, I will think of the snow and smile.
However, one small strip of snow still clings stubbornly to the ground outside of my window. This sliver of ground doesn't get a long amount of direct sunshine, which is contributing to the snow's continuing reign. Each day I think, today will be the day, but each night, while it appears slightly worn down, it remains there. I know it's only a matter of time until a series of warm days completely obliterates it, leaving an unobliterated view of the new grass slowly growing in.
In the midst of the emotional havoc my body is wreaking on me right now, I've found myself feeling slightly better each day that brings more sunshine and the promise of a bright spring. In a way I've telling myself that with the spring will come a new start and a lightening of the burden I've become all too used to carrying this winter. The funny part of this metaphor is that in a way, it's actually true. Bipolar people go through what they call "normal seasonal cycles", meaning your body has "seasons". I've been living this winter one day, one hour, one minute at a time at a time (I just saw an intersting post on this very subject) and have been clinging to the slightest promise of spring.
Each day as the sun relentlessly chips away at that small patch of snow, I feel a little better, a little more in control. Time marches on, and I know it's only a matter of time until this season is over and I can look forward to another. Soon, I will look out and that snow will only be memory, not one I can appreciate having it so recently gone, but perhaps someday soon, during one of the hot summer days in a season to come, I will think of the snow and smile.
I took my love, I took it down,
Climbed a mountain and I turned around.
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hill,
Still the landslide brought me down.
Oh, mirror in the sky,
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
3.09.2008
A Tomato Exploded in my Living Room
Remember that empty expanse of living room I mentioned earlier? It's been filled. Meet our new couch! Yes, I'm aware it's very red. What I wasn't aware of is A.) How much smaller these things look in the showroom than they really are and B.) They would be sending four pillows with it, two large square burgundy ones, and two round orange ones. Now I'm not an interior design student, but burgundy and orange with some seriously bright red? Not the best, in my opinion. Anyway, here she be, in all her glory.
Blogoration!
The kids are tucked in for their naps, the cat and dog are snoozing lazily together, Evan is at the store, and I am sitting on my living room floor propped against the wall in the exact spot my couch used to be. Today, our new couch *cue the lights and music* is being delivered, hence the reason the old one has moved temporarily into our bedroom in preparation and I am sitting on the floor. Wanna glimpse?I've spent the better part of the morning partying at the various blogs hosting a little piece of the UBP2008. I have come across some strange ones, some downright hilarious ones, and tons of great ones. In continuing honor of the festivities this week, I am posting my favorites so far.
First and foremost, although this one is no stranger to me, is the Mama Kenz Studio blog. This is MacKenzie, who lives in my very own corner of Spokane, and owns Chic and Savvy Mamas. She was the one who first introduced me to natural parenting, and most recently, to the wonderful world of wool. She is a mama who truly enjoys helping others, through her business and everyday life, and she and her little blog have inspired me more than once (check out her posts on making butter by hand and her svelte aprons, along with some super sweet longies knitted from Uraguanian wool!)
Second, I love, love, love this one. It's a mommy/daddy team, ie:Sheena/Greg, who are blogging their way through a pregnancy and into parenthood. Normally the cutesiness of that idea would inspire gagging sounds, but they've done it in such a chic and sweet way that it's hard not to love it. Just reading it brings back fond memories of a time not too long ago I awaited my own sweet babies and all the thrills (and aches, oh the aches!) that go along.
Third, lovin' me some Sprittibee. This blog is fun, informative, a little funky, and a lot creative (witness her prize for the party of Pysanka Easter Egg Sleeves). She's down to earth and quirky, two characteristics I find irresistible! I'll be coming back long after the last party snacks and confetti have been cleared away.So that's the synopsis thus far, I'd better be off to scout out some other great hosts and peek out the window every so often in search of the furniture truck....
3.08.2008
For the Party Goers...
Hey!
My name is Tawny, I'm a SAHM in the Pacific Northwest! Wait, you probably got that already, huh? Well, to further elaborate, I have two munchkins, my big boy helper Aidyn and my much too cute Ellery. We also have an english bulldog named Bella and a sweet kitty named Amada. I own Baby Bean Designs, which is currently in the midst of a rehaul for spring and focuses on natural parenting solutions like cloth diapers and carriers. I love the color pink, books of all kinds, shoes, cooking, and a good stiff white chocolate mocha in the morning. My pet peeves are people who can't park straight to save their lives and that one hair that just won't lay straight no matter how hard I try. My family embarked on a "natural" journey last year has led us into the territory of cloth diapering, better eating, composting, and gardening. My sister calls it hippy, but I guarentee you won't find any Birkenstocks in my closet, nor do I ever intend to stop showering or shaving. I have a full, fun life that I too often take for granted, but I love every minute of it anyway!
For all of you stopping by in the midst of the blog party to read my two cents and shower my little blog with comments, make sure you leave the name and URL address of your own blog in a comment after this or the previous post, and I'll give you some permanent linky love in my sidebar even after the party is over! I'm having so much fun "meeting" you all!
I'm also loving those prizes! I'd have to say, my favorites would be:
1. #24, A blog design from Sweet and Simple Design, because let's face it, this place could use some freshening up!
2. #136, A knitting goody bag from Craftymom, because I just can't get enough of my new hobby!
3. #14, The custom wall canvas by JuJu Beane Boutique, because I have an empty expanse of wall and that would rock it!
Really, I'd be happy with any of the great prizes, especially any of those blog design ones! I would love to spiff up my corner of the web!
Party on, I can't wait to meet some more of you!
My name is Tawny, I'm a SAHM in the Pacific Northwest! Wait, you probably got that already, huh? Well, to further elaborate, I have two munchkins, my big boy helper Aidyn and my much too cute Ellery. We also have an english bulldog named Bella and a sweet kitty named Amada. I own Baby Bean Designs, which is currently in the midst of a rehaul for spring and focuses on natural parenting solutions like cloth diapers and carriers. I love the color pink, books of all kinds, shoes, cooking, and a good stiff white chocolate mocha in the morning. My pet peeves are people who can't park straight to save their lives and that one hair that just won't lay straight no matter how hard I try. My family embarked on a "natural" journey last year has led us into the territory of cloth diapering, better eating, composting, and gardening. My sister calls it hippy, but I guarentee you won't find any Birkenstocks in my closet, nor do I ever intend to stop showering or shaving. I have a full, fun life that I too often take for granted, but I love every minute of it anyway!
For all of you stopping by in the midst of the blog party to read my two cents and shower my little blog with comments, make sure you leave the name and URL address of your own blog in a comment after this or the previous post, and I'll give you some permanent linky love in my sidebar even after the party is over! I'm having so much fun "meeting" you all!
I'm also loving those prizes! I'd have to say, my favorites would be:
1. #24, A blog design from Sweet and Simple Design, because let's face it, this place could use some freshening up!
2. #136, A knitting goody bag from Craftymom, because I just can't get enough of my new hobby!
3. #14, The custom wall canvas by JuJu Beane Boutique, because I have an empty expanse of wall and that would rock it!
Really, I'd be happy with any of the great prizes, especially any of those blog design ones! I would love to spiff up my corner of the web!
Party on, I can't wait to meet some more of you!
3.07.2008
The Blind Truth
I have no idea how to start this post. This post is the physical mark in time of a new chapter in my life, and as such I feel like there should be something dramatic and inspiring, but none is forthcoming.
The truth, in very plain and simple terms, is this: I have been diagnosed bipolar.
On Tuesday afternoon, after ruling out a myriad of physical problems and declaring me otherwise healthy, my very forward doctor looked me straight in the face and said, "Honey, you are bipolar, and the sooner you can accept that and start taking steps to control it, the better." Very matter of fact for something so life altering.
By Wednesday I had mostly stopped crying and feeling sorry for myself, and had meekly picked up my new prescription to begin on Thursday. By Wednesday night, the rage I'm becoming familiar with had returned as I researched this disorder and the medication that goes with it. I found myself wandering into a bipolar forum, weaving my way through threads on medications and feelings. I stopped at one titled, "Do you ever miss...?" The basic theme was that the medications, while taking away the feelings of depression and anxiety, also took away a sense of self and left the takers wondering, "How much is me, and how much is the pill?". I was, to say the least, horrified, and I began to think.
With the exception of the last month or two, the turn of my moods that I can now recognize as the various cycles of this disorder has never affected my life to an extent that I couldn't cope. I had hard days, days I didn't feel like getting out of bed, days that I raged at anything that would hold still long enough, and days that I was flying high, but for the most part, I was okay. I was...me. So if I take a medication to even all of that out, even the extreme parts, would I still be "me", or just a shadow of my former self. In order to be "normal" by the world's standards, do I have to cancel myself out of the equation, or is it possible to find a balance between the two? Then, in the midst of this misgiving, I saw the sentence that made up my mind. "Not for use in breastfeeding women." Quite simply, there's not a way in the world I could be convinced to give up breastfeeding my last child earlier than I want to so that I can be compatable for this drug.
I decided to hold off Thursday morning until I could talk to the doctor, and while she still believed I should start the meds ASAP, she said she could support my decision and we would talk about it in three weeks at my next appointment. Until then, I plan to research natural ways of coping and keeping the body healthy and in rythem, and also find ways that I can help myself when those panicky or depressed feelings come on. I'm not saying I will never take medication, but for now, it's just not the right choice for me. I can either meekly and blindly follow along, or I can grab hold of this and try to help myself. If that fails, and I do need a medication to even this out, at least I can say I tried other options first. Hopefully, whichever path turns out to be the one I take, the "me" will come out of the other side, a little smoothed, a little rewritten, but still true.
The truth, in very plain and simple terms, is this: I have been diagnosed bipolar.
On Tuesday afternoon, after ruling out a myriad of physical problems and declaring me otherwise healthy, my very forward doctor looked me straight in the face and said, "Honey, you are bipolar, and the sooner you can accept that and start taking steps to control it, the better." Very matter of fact for something so life altering.
By Wednesday I had mostly stopped crying and feeling sorry for myself, and had meekly picked up my new prescription to begin on Thursday. By Wednesday night, the rage I'm becoming familiar with had returned as I researched this disorder and the medication that goes with it. I found myself wandering into a bipolar forum, weaving my way through threads on medications and feelings. I stopped at one titled, "Do you ever miss...?" The basic theme was that the medications, while taking away the feelings of depression and anxiety, also took away a sense of self and left the takers wondering, "How much is me, and how much is the pill?". I was, to say the least, horrified, and I began to think.
With the exception of the last month or two, the turn of my moods that I can now recognize as the various cycles of this disorder has never affected my life to an extent that I couldn't cope. I had hard days, days I didn't feel like getting out of bed, days that I raged at anything that would hold still long enough, and days that I was flying high, but for the most part, I was okay. I was...me. So if I take a medication to even all of that out, even the extreme parts, would I still be "me", or just a shadow of my former self. In order to be "normal" by the world's standards, do I have to cancel myself out of the equation, or is it possible to find a balance between the two? Then, in the midst of this misgiving, I saw the sentence that made up my mind. "Not for use in breastfeeding women." Quite simply, there's not a way in the world I could be convinced to give up breastfeeding my last child earlier than I want to so that I can be compatable for this drug.
I decided to hold off Thursday morning until I could talk to the doctor, and while she still believed I should start the meds ASAP, she said she could support my decision and we would talk about it in three weeks at my next appointment. Until then, I plan to research natural ways of coping and keeping the body healthy and in rythem, and also find ways that I can help myself when those panicky or depressed feelings come on. I'm not saying I will never take medication, but for now, it's just not the right choice for me. I can either meekly and blindly follow along, or I can grab hold of this and try to help myself. If that fails, and I do need a medication to even this out, at least I can say I tried other options first. Hopefully, whichever path turns out to be the one I take, the "me" will come out of the other side, a little smoothed, a little rewritten, but still true.
3.03.2008
The Red Light
Welcome to my little corner of Monday morning!
Would you like a glimpse into my house this morning? The livingroom is strewn with a mix of pillows and toys, the debris of an afternoon yesterday playing. In my kitchen, waiting to be washed, are the dishes from my breakfast with the kids, a very filling and nutritious one of scrambled eggs and grapefruit. The coffeepot is still on, with the small bit left in the bottom that will get me started off right when I decide to finish this post and begin my daily cleaning. The dog is chewing her toy in the kitchen, the cat is lounging at my feet. I can just see Aidyn from where I sit, lounging in his doorway and lining up cars. The Bean is in my lap, lazily watching a morning cartoon over my shoulder and occasionaly turning to try to add her two cents to my post, which looks a little like this: 3ddjo9i9r9.;
I can see a small stripe of blue in the sky through my window, which I hope will widen and consume the afternoon later in a dazzle of sunshine. This morning I'll be attacking my house with a frenzy, as is my usual Monday routine after a weekend of lax picking up. Actually, I just realized the time limit I gave myself for being on here is over, and so off I go to begin that. Besides, my coffee cup is empty.....
Would you like a glimpse into my house this morning? The livingroom is strewn with a mix of pillows and toys, the debris of an afternoon yesterday playing. In my kitchen, waiting to be washed, are the dishes from my breakfast with the kids, a very filling and nutritious one of scrambled eggs and grapefruit. The coffeepot is still on, with the small bit left in the bottom that will get me started off right when I decide to finish this post and begin my daily cleaning. The dog is chewing her toy in the kitchen, the cat is lounging at my feet. I can just see Aidyn from where I sit, lounging in his doorway and lining up cars. The Bean is in my lap, lazily watching a morning cartoon over my shoulder and occasionaly turning to try to add her two cents to my post, which looks a little like this: 3ddjo9i9r9.;
I can see a small stripe of blue in the sky through my window, which I hope will widen and consume the afternoon later in a dazzle of sunshine. This morning I'll be attacking my house with a frenzy, as is my usual Monday routine after a weekend of lax picking up. Actually, I just realized the time limit I gave myself for being on here is over, and so off I go to begin that. Besides, my coffee cup is empty.....
3.01.2008
Spring has Sprung
The weather has been gorgeous lately. The mornings are crisp and frosty, but bright. The afternoons are warm and sunny, and the evenings have been cool and mild. The patches of snow become smaller by the day, and my irises have already begun to poke through the frigid bed in front of my house. The unmistakable signs of spring have, well, sprung.
This spring is different for me from most. It seems to hold more promise, more joy. Not only is the winter weather coming to a close, but the winter that has been in my heart is also thawing. My appointment is this week, and I'm tentatively optimistic that I'll soon be healthy and strong again. The sunshine has done wonders for my mood lately. I've also started several of the projects that I've looked forward to for so long. I began learning some knitting by myself from Knitting Help, and have already benefited from the relaxation it offers. Evan and I signed papers on our refinance, which means the money for a new garage and wood fence (and perhaps a little landscaping) is safely in the bank and ready when we are. Hopefully by May we'll have a snug garage and beautiful backyard that will be a haven for us. Last but certainly not least, I started putting together my Home Management Binder. I've had one for awhile, but after some research on MDC I decided that mine was sorely lacking and completely revamped it. For those of you who don't know what an HMB is, I plan to devote an entire post to it soon to enlighten you.
Other tidbits from life lately....
My sister came with her girls and shared a lovely day with me and the kiddos. We're planning on seeing each other again in May. She lives about eight hours away, so I treasure any time I get to spend with her.
Levi and Dani tied the knot on Wednesday night at The Hitching Post, which brought back fond memories of a different wedding there almost four years ago. It was sweet and simple, and I haven't seen my brother smile so much in ages.
On the not so pleasant front, I developed what I thought was a UTI, which I ignored while waiting for my new insurance to kick in. Finally, unable to take the pain, I went into urgent care yesterday, where I was told I actually had a bladder infection, and that I would be lucky to escape a kidney infection, which apparently is much more serious and requires hospitalization. Go figure. I think it's starting to get better, although my stomach is still on fire. And in the meantime I did enjoy a lovely day out with Evan and the kids, which brings me back to the weather.
Isn't the sunshine nice?
This spring is different for me from most. It seems to hold more promise, more joy. Not only is the winter weather coming to a close, but the winter that has been in my heart is also thawing. My appointment is this week, and I'm tentatively optimistic that I'll soon be healthy and strong again. The sunshine has done wonders for my mood lately. I've also started several of the projects that I've looked forward to for so long. I began learning some knitting by myself from Knitting Help, and have already benefited from the relaxation it offers. Evan and I signed papers on our refinance, which means the money for a new garage and wood fence (and perhaps a little landscaping) is safely in the bank and ready when we are. Hopefully by May we'll have a snug garage and beautiful backyard that will be a haven for us. Last but certainly not least, I started putting together my Home Management Binder. I've had one for awhile, but after some research on MDC I decided that mine was sorely lacking and completely revamped it. For those of you who don't know what an HMB is, I plan to devote an entire post to it soon to enlighten you.
Other tidbits from life lately....
My sister came with her girls and shared a lovely day with me and the kiddos. We're planning on seeing each other again in May. She lives about eight hours away, so I treasure any time I get to spend with her.
Levi and Dani tied the knot on Wednesday night at The Hitching Post, which brought back fond memories of a different wedding there almost four years ago. It was sweet and simple, and I haven't seen my brother smile so much in ages.
On the not so pleasant front, I developed what I thought was a UTI, which I ignored while waiting for my new insurance to kick in. Finally, unable to take the pain, I went into urgent care yesterday, where I was told I actually had a bladder infection, and that I would be lucky to escape a kidney infection, which apparently is much more serious and requires hospitalization. Go figure. I think it's starting to get better, although my stomach is still on fire. And in the meantime I did enjoy a lovely day out with Evan and the kids, which brings me back to the weather.
Isn't the sunshine nice?
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