In My Place

I was just sitting here in the silence of naptime, listening to the cars and birds outside, pondering life. Not the meaning of or the trick to, simply life, as it is. The truth is, I have a longing in me. A deep longing to create, to inspire, to leave a mark; sometimes I wonder if I were to be gone tomorrow, have I really done it? I feel so inadequate at times, always seeing the best in others and the worst in myself. Recently I was browsing one of my favorite blogs, the owner of which happens to have authored a book about her family and their creative ways. I found myself wishing as I browsed her photographs that my life mirrored hers: the beautiful projects, the stream of ideas, the natural quality of it all. I quickly caught myself, of course, and had a "buck up" moment, but the longing remained all the same.

So what is it I want? I want to inspire my children to lead lives of purpose and creativity. I want to show them through my own example that life must be grabbed not watched, that every day should count, and that around every corner lies an opportunity. I want to nurture an open mind and a quick wit, a sensitive soul and a kind heart. I want them to love and savor this life. I want to show them new things, explore the world together, and I want them to know that I am always open to a new project. I want to create a haven. I want our home to be simple, uncluttered and serene, but filled with objects of purpose and beauty. I want all who walk through my door to feel relaxed and at home. I want to be my husband's biggest ally, his anchor, and his love. I want to always show him the respect and love that he shows me. I want to take care of what has been given to me in the largest possible way. I want to quit looking over the next hill and be content in this valley of my life. Most of all, I want the happiness that I feel in my heart to be palpable to those around me, so that it rubs off on all I come in contact with.

Not asking much, am I? I have a start; I have a vision. It's about letting go of the unnecessary and learning how to accomplish that which is. I've slowly been putting the pieces together, and I trust in time I will have the above. I won't need to read into the lives of others and hope, because I will have to look no further than my own front door to find what fulfills me.

In my place, in my place,

Were lines that I couldn't change,

I was lost, oh yeah.

I was lost, I was lost,

Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed,

I was lost, oh yeah.

And yeah, how long must you wait for it?

Yeah, how long must you pay for it?

Yeah, how long must you wait for it?

I was scared, I was scared,

Tired and under prepared,

But I wait for it.

And if you go, if you go,

Leave me down here on my own,

Then I'll wait for you, yeah.

Yeah, how long must you wait for it?

Yeah, how long must you pay for it?

Yeah, how long must you wait for it?

Oh for it

Sing it please, please, please,

Come back and sing to me,

To me, me.

Come on and sing it out, now, now.

Come on and sing it out

To me, me

Come on and sing.

In my place, in my place,

Were lines that I couldn't change,

I was lost, oh yeah.

Oh yeah.