A Pleasant Conversation Between Myself and Insanity

This was an email I wrote to Evan the other day (Friday to be exact, the day I posted about the start of the flu in our house with Aidyn's spectacular show of vomit) in answer to his question of how my morning was going. He said he got quite a giggle (a very manly giggle I'm sure) out of it, and I thought I'd repost it here so you can get a look at a typical morning around this house from my point of view.

A rundown of my morning:
Got dressed.
Got Aidyn dressed.
Spent 15 minutes stripping bed and putting bedding in washer. Had to move white load from two days ago that I forgot into dryer.
Came upstairs and fixed the kids tea (per Aid's request) and hot cereal.
Spent another half an hour painstakingly removing cereal from Ely, her dishes, the table, her chair, the floor, and her hair.
Did dishes.
Decided to take advantage of kids watching tv so nicely and go clean our room.
Was putting away five baskets of laundry piled mindlessly around room when the sound 300 beads scattering in all directions on the table reached my ears.
Punished children sitting on kitchen table trying to pretend they had no idea why beads were everywhere.
Picked up 287 beads, decided I could care less about the rest.
Went back to room, stripped our bed, carried downstairs to wash.
Discovered I forgot to turn on dryer and thus, couldn't move Aidyn's sheets over yet.
Turned it on while swearing and dropping our sheets on the floor.
Came back upstairs, finished up laundry, came into living room.
Discovered open purse with contents strewed in a trail that led to baby girl sitting in cat bed with my ipod and a tube of lipstick. An empty tube of lipstick.
Spent next half hour cleaning favorite shade of lipstick from the crevices and ear bud hole of ipod.
Decided maybe I didn't like the color so much anymore.
Threw away empty lipstick, picked up 14 tissues left from cleaning ipod, and stashed contents of my purse back in.
Discovered where the other half of the lipstick went.
Took everything back out, cleaned out inside of purse smeared with now hated lipstick, and restashed everything back in.
Turned around to throw away garbage and stepped in puddle of Bella pee.
Swore some more and locked her in her crate while I cleaned it up.
Went into livingroom and began to put away random toys that had been dragged out this morning.
Was tackled from behind by 24 pounds of twisted steel and snot known as Ely.
Finished picking up toys with Ely hanging from my neck giggling madly.
Finally pried baby girl off to realize that she had taken off her diaper cover and peed her prefold. My shirt bore the evidence.
Changed shirt, swore some more.
Came out of room to find the cat's head in one child's hands, it's tail in another's. Fight over who should hold kitty in full swing complete with yelling, hitting, and the cat being stretched like some medival torture method.
Extracted cat, pried apart kids, instituted timeout.
Turned on favorite tv show for kids, sat down, and was cheered to see your name in my inbox.
Started writing about my day and decided some of it was rather funny after all.
Decided I love my life regardless of the puddles of pee and scattered beads.
Thought about you.
Contemplated hitting send.
Was tackled from one chair over by Ely, and discovered once again that lack of diaper cover and mommy's shirt don't mix.
Decided I best push send now while I have a chance and then go change my shirt....again.

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