When Words Become Superfluous...

For some reason this morning I was thinking of songs, and the way I seem to remember the seasons of my life through the lyrics. Each event, each person, each memory has a stanza, a song, a tune attached. My best friend Charley Jean, who was kind enough to share her name with my daughter, will forever be remembered in the sweet lines of John Mayer's "Not Myself", the simple notes of Dan Seal's "One Friend", and the fun bounce of LFO's "Every Other Time". I still think of my first "real" serious relationship and my senior prom when I hear Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight". For a few moments I remember the tingly sensation of being young and carried away. 50 Cent brings back fond memories of a summer long ago, Bush reminds me of living with my brother, and the strains of my grandma's favorite hymns fill my mind with the familiar clean smell of her house and the pain on my mother's face as she sang them at my father's funeral with the congregation. There's a certain nostalgia in these memories that's hard to place, a feeling that wells up when a few notes from a forgotten tune suddenly sweeps me back to place, a time, a person.

The sweetest of these of course, are the songs that bring me the warm comfort of Evan. Some fun and light, some seemingly sad, but each a little piece of my life with the man I love. The first time we danced to Oasis's "Wonderwall", the first summer of Fabolous and "So Into You", and my favorite of all the favorites, the song that he still sings to me, the song that will be his even after he's gone, and that sometimes makes me cry when I hear it because simply thinking of how much I love him becomes too much: Seether and Amy Lee singing "Broken". It's hauntingly beautiful to me. It makes me realize how much we've come through, and how very much he loves me. And so, for your viewing pleasure this morning, I present...

Broken

I wanted you to know

I love the way you laugh

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away

I keep your photograph,

I know it serves me well

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again

I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away

There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain[x2]

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away