For the past year I've been slowly making changes in my life to try to change into the person I want to be. This may seem like a derogatory thing to say about oneself, but I don't mean it in that way at all. The problem is in the space of three years I've gotten married, had two kids, and started a business, which has completely skewed my perception of myself. Somewhere, long ago in a distant galaxy, there was a person named Tawny. She was confident and headstrong, unsure where she was going but unperturbed nonetheless. That person has become lost somewhere between the worlds of "hon" and "mommy", leaving me utterly lost in the section of self.
My first task was to become a better mommy; cloth diapers, a natural and healthy approach, and more attention where and when it matters. Second was to become a better wife, by striving to understand my husband and become what he needs in every aspect. I've left myself for last. Baby Bean was the start, something to give me the mental stimulation and excitement that housewifely duties sometimes lack. I've looked inward, I've come to grips spiritually, now all that's left is to turn that out. And so onto this next phase...
I'm going to start getting strict with myself. I need to start remembering to take care of myself somewhere in between everything else. Better eating, for one. No more skipped breakfasts and soda lunches. Better exercise is another; I need a consistent routine and a way to track results. Speaking of routine, I should probably get one of those too, for chores and work time and play time and just about everything. Having a daily schedule would probably go a long way toward ridding myself of super hectic days followed by days of severe boredom and gloom. I guess I just need to even it all out. I have the tools, I feel better inside, now I'd just like the outside to match.
I'll let you know how the next week goes. Wish me luck!